The Problem of Food and Wine Matching, Forever Solved
It’s easy if you make your wine out of food. The future becomes apparent in U.S. Patent #7,037,541:
Alcoholic beverages derived from animal extract, and methods for the production thereof…wherein said animal extract is selected from one or more of beef, pork, mutton, chicken, duck, and turkey.
Thus the seemingly intractable problem of what wine to serve with Thankgiving turkey becomes easy to solve: turkey wine.
More than that, this technology may make the meal itself superfluous:
It should be apparent that the animal sources need not be the sole, or even principal origin of the beverage. For example, plant derived materials may be included in the lactic acid fermentation, added prior to the yeast fermentation, or added during both intervals. These added plant derived materials may be relatively simple carbohydrates or more complex compositions. The resulting alcoholic fermented beverage may also be blended with other products.
The beverage produced, according to the patent, has a “smooth flavor and aroma,” and would likely spur significant growth in the industry that manufactures wine taste descriptors. A quick, back-of-the-envelop calculation predicts that Wine Spectator alone would need to hire 100 – 150 taste descriptor technicians to generate the vocabulary to describe, for example, Liver and Onions wine.
The wine has a swift, metallic attack and mealy mouthfeel that gives way to hints of tundra and pickled hoof before fading in a long, bilious finish…
It will not surprise you to know that the inventors of this “different flavored fermented products” process were Japanese.