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Archive for the ‘Pointless Rudeness’ Category

These Aren’t the First Women Who Don’t Want to Associate With Me

October 5th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

Wine in Heels is a women-only wine club in Aspen, Colorado. It is women-only because men are so horrible and women can have lots of fun without them — or maybe its because there’s a buffet and the women want to be able to taste full-strength thousand island dressing through a straw without feeling piggy. [...]

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Will Someone Please Discover Paso Robles?

September 30th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

USA Today today features an article Paso Robles: It’s the Unidiscovered Wine Country. Before that article was even published, Travel Writer’s Magazine disputed the premise with a headline: PASO ROBLES JOURNAL: An Undiscovered Town in California? Not Really, But ‘Paso’ Comes Close. Destination Paso Robles, a tourism promotion group, promised even before that Paso Robles [...]

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Party All Night Long, Middle-Aged Rocker-Style

August 15th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

AC/DC is releasing its own wine. Sourced from wine regions in the Barossa and Coonawarra, varieties include Back in Black Shiraz, Highway to Hell Cabernet Sauvignon and You Shook Me All Night Long Moscato. This follows the release of — I’m not making this up — the AC/DC-themed Monopoly game. Coming soon: thigh-high AC/DC support [...]

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Unfortunate Blog Name of the Day

May 31st, 2011 by Tom Johnson

Swirl Girl.

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Wine Media From a Parallel Universe

May 5th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

I don’t know which is the worse idea: creating a wine magazine that is only available on a single technology platform (the iPad) or making the launch issue read like a Jancis Robinson fanzine. By the Grape is four bucks an issue. If you buy one, I’m sure Jancis Robinson will be pleasantly surprised.

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Dumping (On) Rosé

April 28th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

Every now and then I make a belittling crack about rosé. When I do that, someone defends the stuff, either because they are personally insulted or because they believe my disdain for pink wine brands me as a pretentious rube. They’re inevitably confident that one day I will give rosé an honest chance and come around to [...]

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Celebrity Wine Update: Really Desperate Housewives

April 19th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

As reported previously, Real Housewives of New York demi-celebrity Ramona Singer is delving into the wine business, belching forth a Pinot Grigio aimed at precisely the demographic most likely to 1) drink Pinot Grigio and 2) be influenced by what they see on basic cable. To the right is a photograph of Singer making a [...]

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______ Is the New ______: A Theme Emerges

April 15th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

The L.A. Times posits that $15 is the new $25: To an overwhelming degree, retail customers are spending less for a bottle of wine than they did two years ago. In 2009, we wrote in these pages that, in terms of a sales sweet spot, $25 was the new $40. If anything, that median is [...]

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Ah Goh Mumble Grump Harumph Feh, Then

February 7th, 2011 by Tom Johnson

The BBC reports on wine fraud, in the process showing A) one of the best mustaches ever and B) a face that could only belong to a citizen of Great Britain. To be honest, the report isn’t that great, but the people being interviewed make me wonder how a nation of mumbling character actors could [...]

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